So, when will you be cured?

An anniversary of group therapy

On Friday, 21 February 2025, Filip marked ten years of group therapy. I cheekily asked him: “So, when will you be cured?” It was a provocation and a joke, because his sister had asked him the same question a few months earlier – without a hint of humour.

She doesn't believe in therapy or in mental health problems, and she doesn't trust people who have them. She considers psychological therapy unnecessary and useless. That Friday I watched Filip, who calmly took the question, knowing it was a joke. He knew I supported his effort and his work on himself.

So, when will you be cured?

But the question isn't so bad, I thought, because it's important to know: when is someone really cured? I wanted to know how Filip saw the goal of his therapy after ten years. I looked at him seriously and repeated the question: “No, really, what would be the answer to the question your sister asked you? When will you be cured?”

His eyes widened, and he answered slowly and calmly: “When I can live with the feeling that I can be me – that me, just as I am, is completely fine, that it's okay, that I accept myself.”

Although he tried to be different from who he was, and sometimes felt uncomfortable in his own skin, overwhelmed by guilt – whether he worried about it or not, he was already accepted and loved. To us, his friends, he's just right as he is: fired up, inspired, in love with food, drink and work. Very cheerful, very worried – we thought he was great just like that. We accepted him even more than he could accept himself.

After ten years of therapy, less nervous and with less guilt, with more love for himself, he shared with me this simple thought, which is nevertheless very hard to feel deep inside: Being well – being me.