Fleksiplina – discipline the feminine way

I love treating myself – massages, beauty treatments, good food, working out, resting, lazing around. I also love the feeling of getting done what needs doing. Both feel good to me, depending on the day, my cycle, the moment. However hard I try to be linear, I'm always surprised by how everything falls into place in time when I listen to my inner clock – the one that's neither strictly male nor mapped out in advance in spreadsheets.

Unlike men, whose hormonal rhythm is steady throughout the month, our energy as women isn't evenly distributed. At the start of the cycle we have more strength, make decisions more easily and are more focused. That's the time for harder workouts, intensive projects and making decisions. As the cycle draws to a close, the body naturally asks for calm, more rest and introspection. When I accept that and align with that rhythm, everything flows more easily.

I used to think discipline simply meant gritting my teeth, pushing harder, being stricter with myself. I tormented my body with workouts and starving, thinking that this would make me a better version of myself. If I missed a workout or ate something “wrong”, I felt guilty. I was convinced that if I let up even a little, everything would fall apart.

Today it's different. I exercise because I love the feeling of strength and lightness, but I don't push myself to the point of pain. I choose food that agrees with me, but I don't punish myself if I feel like eating something “off plan”. I listen to myself. Instead of working against myself, I'm learning to find a rhythm in which my body and mind cooperate.

Real discipline isn't coercion, but an agreement with yourself. It isn't fear of failure, but trust that things will work out, even if I sometimes stop. Discipline the feminine way isn't about clenching, but about sensing when it's time to rest and when it's time to move. When love for yourself is truly love, and when it's just another form of control.

Just as I like to give myself room to relax, I sometimes need to remind myself that discipline is a way to find balance, not a way to punish myself. Because self-love isn't always only about indulgence – sometimes it's about wisely choosing when to encourage yourself and do something, and when to stop with the to-do lists. And how do you enjoy discipline? By praising yourself for every step, however trivial it may seem. By recognising, out of love for yourself, that not every day is the same and that there's no need to fight against yourself – just to choose your battles wisely.